A random note

TODAY is Christmas. I had the most amazing time with my friend Ashleigh's grandparents. It makes me wish I had grandparents or had the opportunity to know them. They're just so cute, so so so so cute. I would like my future "old period" would be like theirs. I want tons of grand kids and great grand kids!!!

I feel like I'm filled with these dreams and desires for my future and I feel as though someone from the outside is just shaking their head at my little dreams. I just want to punch them in the face and tell the just because THEIR hopes and dreams didn't come out the way they planned or wanted doesn't mean mine WON'T! -Stupid people.

4 weeks left

Ahhh I've been awake since yesterday 3 in the afternoon til now. It has NOT been a lazy banana nut cake day- AT ALL. It's been all about working backstage and checking in costumes and then working on 10 flash cards per hour. And in between that-laundry. Funnily enough, laundry hasn't been a pain today :D That's make me quite a happy camper. I'm going to the J to get some food and some french vanilla coffee for the day, yay!

Intensity of buttons xP

They're pretty intense buttons don't you think??

Time of July

is spent watching movies in my sister Aislinn's room :D

Currently --Wanted--

Wesley is my new favorite name.

-All Over Again-

I more than half wished you ignored me completely and let me know. That way, with the tiniest communication there is, I wouldn't feel the tiniest bit of what I once did with you. 

An Addict, I tell you

To Harry Potter!!!! I'm on the last part of the 5th book and Harry's panicking hoping that his best friends are not dead and blaming himself if they are. No, he's not some sort of pussy or anything. He cares! I mean imagine yourself in a situation in which you and your friends' lives were in danger!!! I'm ready to cry because at any moment Sirius is going to die and he's really going to blame himself! :( I'm a big cry baby (by the way). 

Things I can't tell my mother....

This is a well I don't know what it is but I wrote it to my mother a few months ago. I never gave it to her. It was too embarrassing; at first, when I wrote it. Now, I'm ready and I plan on handwriting it and giving it to her in a few hours. 
My actual note said:

Things I can't tell my mother... because they are just too far embarrassing and depressing at the moment.

If tomorrow I found you gone forever, I would cry.
If tomorrow you, who has always given me her all were gone,
I'd want to quit.
If tomorrow you, who loved me beyond reasoning were gone,
I'd want to go after you.
If tomorrow I could not hug you,
I'd feel empty.
If tomorrow I could not hear your laugh
I'd lose my sense of humor.
If tomorrow I did not have the chance to say I love you,
I'd be confused as to how to love once more.
You, the one who gives her all, are my inspiration.
You, the one who loves me beyond reasoning, are the one who let's me know on love and kindness.
You are the one who stables my world.
If it weren't for you I'd be lost in the world.
So,
thank you
a million times over and over
for everything, everything you've ever done for me
from cleaning my room when I told you not to step foot in there,
for doing my laundry once in a while,
for preparing meals for me,
for taking care of me,
for sharing advice with me
for every stupid little thing you've ever done for me.
Thank you.
I love you very very very much.