This is my first blog on here.
I think. Anyways, what's bugging me is family. There is this part of my mother's family that lives in Honduras [located in Central America]. My mom has always had on & off again contact with her family ever since I can remember.
A few years ago, my cousin Jessica came from Honduras to live in the US as she is the only one over there with US citizenship. So ever since, my mother has become closer to her remote siblings who she hasn't personally seen since the age of 15 or 16. Trust me it's been a very long time.
Anyways, Jessica and my younger sister Angie decide to go to Honduras for four days and they've only just left last night.
So tonight they're in Honduras. Jessica visiting her family and Angie meeting them for the very first time.
I haven't talked to them and just prefer to talk to them when they return. 3 days from now.
Anyways my mom calls the family over there and then she wants me to talk to her brother.
In other words, my uncle.
A man that I have never met in my life.
Then there's the fact that I don't LOVE talking over the phone; it's very bothersome for some reason.
Next, my Spanish is decent but not great. Yea yea I should practice etc etc etc .
But my point is what the hell am I supposed to say to him over the phone???
Another problem is that my mom is sitting right across from me listening in. Not only is it embarrassing that I can't think of what to say but she's just sitting there with this silly smile on her face trying to encourage me.
Trying. and failing to do so.
She's just thrilled with us 'talking'.
Agh it's just very , I don't know, disturbing?
And I feel guilty because my uncle [I don't even know what his name is] is very nice and animated.
He said it was such a surprise to have my sister visit [it was a surprise for the family that my sis was going; they believed that only Jessica was going] and it was great and that he was glad that she did and it was wonderful to meet one of his sister's daughters. And when would we come?
I couldn't think of what to say except: One day.
I could have lied and said "ohh maybe next year!!"
or something like that but I didn't.
Like I said, I'm not good on the phone; unless I really really know or get along with very well with who I'm talking to.
And I feel even more guilty because it seems like they care for us, family, who they don't even know, and I don't. I can't feel anything for them. Not until I get to know them and I've been avoiding trips there for the same reasons and the fact that it'll be a one time thing so why bother oh and school. I'm not going to automatically fall head over heels for my family in a few days, a week.
It's kind of depressing.
